When I Kick the Bucket.

It's normal for people to randomly break into conversation about their eventual demise -- right?!

That's a normal thing?

Or maybe it should be....?

My husband finds it strange. He has never used the word "morbid," but certainly, he gives me that look: the weird stare, crinkled forehead, one eyebrow slightly raised, the slow head nod with the side-eye and gritted teeth.

He doesn't like to talk about death.

He doesn't even like to say the word "dead."

He uses those other words:

They "passed away"

He "passed on"

She "moved on"

They "left"

Anything but "died."

I don't know -- it doesn't really bother me.

Death just... is, you know?

I've come to terms with it.

I talk about it frequently enough.

About my own death mostly, which, of course, I hope comes many decades from now.

But who knows?

We never really do.

And for the most part, we don't have much of any control over it anyway.

I want my wishes known, I suppose....

Even though I know that doesn't really matter either.

I'll be dead.

So ultimately, my heirs will have the final decision on the matter.

But still, I think most families try to follow through --

So, my kids and my husband, as reluctant to the conversation as he is, know mine.

And here are my wishes:

Don't you fucking dare dress me up, put me in a box, and parade me all fancy around a stiff and proper cathedral.

Absolutely not.

Do not do it.

I hate that in life.

I most certainly do not want that in death.

Instead:

Take me out to the woods.

Build a ridiculously huge bonfire.

Tap a couple of kegs. Light up. Pass a dozen or so bottles of whiskey around.

Roll out the speakers and spend the night partying in my honor.

Create a killer playlist full of 80s dance music, Prince and Mellencamp, early 2000s punk, and the best of the jam bands.

Tell stories about me: the good and the human, the times I was at my best, and the nights we partied a little too hard.

After that, I don't care where I go. Whatever is most convenient and economical for my family. Just -- have fun. That's what I would want.